Preparing for life: the toolbox

Tools are just things. They belong to no one. Utilizing tools when we need them can make those tools accessible to us. It is uncommon to practice all the tools at a given time. Just being conscious of the ones I want to lean into at a given time helps me lots. I hope that over time, I can have enough practice that calling one to action is more muscle memory than a steep learning curve.

Break the idols Whether its your boss, president, crush or mentor. Humans are humans. And when we break the idol in our mind we open ourselves to reflecting their best qualities and leaving what we don’t love.

Stand in your truth Be honest and clear about what you believe. You don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea–it is wonderful to be someones shot of Jack.

Skip the eggshells Walking on eggshells serves no one. Be courageous and find your voice especially when you are uncertain. The best cure for uncertainty and insecurity is to ask the most difficult questions you can think of.

Recognize your presence and context “I see myself still as a 25 year old junior designer, but the juniors look at me as a senior leader. I can be more effective when I recognize that and live into it.”

You [probably] already know the answer we are smart and intuitive people. We understand what is going on inside us. Perhaps we don’t want to let go of things or are wishful for the future/present we’ve spent so much time dreaming of. But a wish and reality must be handled separately.

Hold space for yourself there’s no need to rush. What you have to say is valuable. Let it simmer.

Hold space for others pull people into conversations, include folks, facilitate dialog and an exchange of perspectives.

KISS- Keep It Simple Stupid you’ll be more effective if you keep it easy and relatable.

Brevity is Queen “I would have written less, but I did not have the time” Abe Lincoln

Take time for the self. You can literally do anything you want. I like to Meditate. Read. Just kick it by water/ a window while it rains.

Be patient with yourself Fam, Mumbai wasn’t built overnight. You are the masterpiece. Everything else is extra. Rest easy knowing that you are good enough and everything that is a work in progress is only an improvement or addition.

Be patient with others We are all on a learning journey. If we are open to it, lessons and wisdom will find us. People have held space for us: pay it forward and hold space for people you believe.

Achieve without Anxiety Simply put: anxiety is no fun. It’s unproductive and its a drain to be around. It’s worst when you’re the anxious.

Create safe space When people know you’ll support them regardless of the circumstance, they can find their courage to speak honestly. You need to trust them to be courageous.

Trust yourself to trust people Give people responsibility and support them. Let them know you trust them. This opens you to beautiful things. And if things go wrong, Trust yourself to pickup the pieces on things and make beautiful things happen from pain.

Surround you with Team A’s players Hitters. Folks who are ambitious, driven to action and resonate with you at a similar frequency. They both gain from you & grow you.

Note: Team A Players have nothing to do with social norms and indicators. Some of the most amazing men and women that I have learned from were folks I bumped into on the street or on planes. Normal everyday not astonishing people who had souls that could bring new light to the sun. Where you went to school, where you work, how much money you have: these reflect little about the human and their light.

Write your story whether you decide or not, if you havent decided to be the author of your own life you’ve given that power to someone else. Chances are you’ll go with the flow. Don’t be xerox copy of the world around you.

Check in with the self I like to ask myself ‘is this an honest expression who I am?’ of ‘Who I want to be?’

Develop awareness of your subconscious action Make a note of what’s going on around you and inside you. Decisions being made: consciously & subconsciously. Decide if you like them and want to perpetuate them or try something different.

Commit to actionAn action can be as simple as becoming conscious about something and continuing to exercise consciousness.

Recognize your progress You’reprobablymuch further along in the journey than you think. Imagine this: you are climbing a big mountain. At the bottom you see the big scary mountain. By half day, you’ve reached the middle. Now all you see is the top. But you’ve scaled half a mountain. Once you’re at the top, you see another mountain with a higher peak far into the distance. Take stock. These wins help you get through your next challenges and keep you planted in your dopeness.

Serve “Service is the rent you pay to live on this earth.” “Find yourself in service to others” Gandhi “Service is life. To serve, is to live.” F Hesselbein

Be a no ego doer Just get things done. Don’t expect reward.

Ask for help “There’s a thousand people in this city that feel responsible for my success. I’m okay with that, because now I’m here.” -Diane Hessan.

Recognize help Remember when Mitt Romney talked about doing things on your own and raising yourself from the bootstraps and then Obama said ‘somebody built the roads, funded the schools’ smiled at you. Embrace savior complex at your own peril. Even Jesus had disciples, fam.

Call people out [with kindness] because trash rots. When you call someone out it awakens them to a reality they may not have recognized

You are the 5 people closest to you.

Have intentional relationships Not everyone has to be the homie. Maybe you dont have space for that or want that. Communicate Consciously & often. Dont be afraid to ask ‘why do you want to spend time with me’ and ‘why do I want to spend time with you.’

Get Clear on what you want You already know thy self. Take courage to listen and understand.

Be clear about what you want You already know what you want. Be courageous and express what you understand that to be.

Note: this can be in any relationship. Mom, boss, intern, friend, pops, president of the united stated.

Recognize your habits We have cycles. Growth is moving closer to the parts of that which we want. Away from the parts we don’t want.

Unlearn to learn When what you know doesnt meet the new standards for your life you gotta let it go. Sometimes that’s a small adjustment. Sometimes it’s completely reeducating yourself.

Avoid long explainations Ask specific questions and journey to understanding in pieces, together.

Avoid defaulting to groups The world isn’t binary. Don’t simplify how you see and process it.

Inhale no greater joy exists than to experience life and appreciate in the moment.

Sensory Experience feel everything around you and recognize the dimensions that make something memorable. It is much more than the place. It is the company, the feeling, the smells, etc.

Forgive & Seek Forgiveness life is short and we exist in a spec of time that was not remembered and will be forgotten

If I have harmed any one in any way,
either knowingly or unknowingly
through my own confusions,
I ask their forgiveness.
If any one has harmed me in any way,
either knowingly or unknowingly
through their own confusions,
I forgive them.
And if there is a situation
I am not yet ready to forgive,
I forgive myself for that.
For all the ways that I harm myself,
negate, doubt, belittle myself,
judge or be unkind to myself,
through my own confusions,
I forgive myself.
-Buddhist Prayer


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