No words hold more power than Invictus. Tomorrow is my last day at Capco and while I feel immensely strong in that leaving is a great decision, I have also been incredibly worried and stiflingly concerned about what happens in September when the scope of my first contract gig comes to a close.
In navigating my concern, I sought reassurance in the stories of my friends about their own lives-risks they were happy by and opportunities they wish they’d embraced. A question I’ve been asking again and again has been, what would today-you say to 25 year old you?
Sometimes it works. There are times when I’ve found my power again by understanding those around me and the data they provide me.
This time it didn’t. It crushed me further and drove me further into worry.
Today was the first time in a few days where I’ve felt light again. That’s because today I wasn’t feeling well, called out sick and had a chance to spend time with myself. To touch base with the self-care practices that have brought be to this place. To remind myself of my own power. And funnily enough, to stumble into Invictus, the poem written on my wall that reminds me of how much greater than uncertainty I am and can be.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit From pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
-William Ernest Henley, 1875