Congruence

Discipline is doing what we set out to do. To borrow from Greg Nance, “Plan the Work, Work the Plan.” While discipline helps us get things done, congruence closes the gap.

Personal congruency exists when your true desires (intention), your thoughts (attention), feelings, and actions are aligned with your core values.” -Dieter Pauwels

I’d add ‘when your thoughts and actions are aligned with your core values and long term goals.

Congruence asks the questions:

• will this habit lead me to achieve X goal? 
• is what I’m doing today actually going to make a difference in my long term objective?

Congruence is outcomes based.

It is the 10,000 foot view, helicopter view.

Are our daily habits and life (our discipline) congruent with the things we daydream about?

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On Being Honest

What does it mean to be honest?

Different things to different folks. To me, it means saying what you mean, meaning what you say and doing that.

Sure, it’s brilliant to be honest with others. I think what is equally important (yet not conversed about enough) is being honest with yourself.

Where might you be being dishonest with yourself today?

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One area I can think of where people aren’t honest with themselves is goals and habits.

Are your daily habits aligned with your goals?

If you had the opportunity to honestly rename your goals based on your habits they may paint a better picture of where you’re headed.

One keystone habit I’m trying to create is sleep. My goal is to be healthier, more fit and more vibrant. And yet, I’m up at 4:30am writing this note.

My action does not currently line up with my goal. Tomorrow I’m at a wedding. My action probably won’t line up this whole weekend–it’s my cousins big fat Indian wedding.

I’ll aim at Monday.

For the moment, I’ll bask in the joy of self-expression and indulge in the ‘publish’ button after a long hibernation.

Polarities exist. They’re fun and helpful to hold. Polarities aren’t the best for goals. I’m seriously going to give better sleep a shot.

Onwards & Forwards Young Brown Man.

ps: Anik Khan dropped BIG FAX. Check it out.

To Heros: Anthony Bourdain

When I learned that Bourdain trained Jiu Jitsu in NYC, I felt another level of potential and pride on my way to the mats.

His show, Parts Unknown, opened worlds to me and became a reference point to me in my own travels.

Bourdain’s warmth and directness informed my poise and influenced my confidence in showing up whole.

Suicide is real. It’s not a virus that catches some folks. That little darkness that dims your light is real. Reach out to your people. Let them know you’re there–that you got their back.

S/o to Anthony Bourdain and the parts I know of the world and of myself because of this hero.

At 8am today I learned that Anthony Bourdain, at 61, took his own life. ❤

2018: Forward.

what a fun year.

Master of None Season 2 Episode: “New York, I love you” was the best thing I watched.

Learned Optimism & Behold the Dreamers split the most useful things I’ve read.

In 2017 I zoned in. It’s led me to experiences in China/Mongolia/Taiwan/Hong Kong/Japan and a smattering of language alongside. It’s allowed stronger communication and more clarity with myself and others. It’s a process-a dance. I’m swaying and learning.

It’s been a year since we spoke on this topic; goals, aims, life.

2018 is another year. It’s not make or break. There’s no new year/new us. It’s about building on 2017: embracing joy, wrapping the self with happiness, and eluding bad habits. Raising the importance of mantras learned in 2017. Less is better. Fewer, but better. Ego is the enemy. And then the newest, if your mind is only as flexible as your body then your heart can only as happy as your body. The mind is the priority and inso the body to take it there. 181 lbs.

2017 is in the context of 2021. As is 2018. This is my decade of learning. I can improve with daily diligence. It is some matter of luck and the universe plotting in my favor which has me able to share that I am directionally positive. Progressing on my aims of growth, financial soundness, instilling purpose [a healthy loving relationship, running a team/org effectively.] These are my aims for the end of the decade. The remainder of this decade is towards work, experiences, journeying.

Borrowing from The US Military’s TheMilitaryLeader, “67,108 is the speed that the Earth is traveling around the Sun. 67,108 miles per hour. Since you’ve been reading this post, we have traveled about 500 miles of a 1.6 million mile daily journey at 67,108 miles per hour.”

We’re a blimp in a big universe of possibility and history. I’m hoping to make it count while making it fun.

Con abrazos, besos, y mucho suerte,

Marv

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On the last day of every year I visit the year behind me and set intentions for the year ahead of me. These aren’t resolutions. These are about me setting my vision and direction. These help me tread towards the human I want to be. 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, and 2017.

 

My buddy Brooke wrote a 10 year forward piece. This reflection was about her experiences upon finishing High School 10 years ago. She wrote it steeped in that day with plenty of adjectives to help draw the realness of being in her shoes then and to have us sniffing the wind today.

It was a great read. That’s good writing.

Check it out.

From Shanghai

I feel so welcomed. I got to catch a buddy of mine who’s working on Dyad, a company that helps Chinese students navigate the application ecosystem into top international universities. It’s a broad problem to solve, but those problems are where the best of entrepreneurship should be focused. We spent two hours doing breakfast and dove into a lot of different things that I want to make mention of:

• spaces to experiement & have low-impact failure is gold. college environments are great in supporting that for entrepreneurship. The ‘real’ world doesn’t look that way.
• on a singular and social level we can create safer spaces by not taking ourselves too seriously. Learning from Worldfaith’s mantra: We don’t have to take ourselves seriously to take our work seriously. Turn down the pressure. Let people be people and find whats best about them, plan around that. It’s probably good to know what you’re good/not so good at too if your plans involve others. Sometimes you’ll learn by fire, but wouldn’t it be great if the fire was a little lower–we’d all walk away with new lessons and fewer scars.
• on an institutional level lack of justice/income inequality and a large variance in ‘the American experience’ can be to blame for some of this unfriendliness in our real world. what do those solutions look like? Job training programs? Maybe.
• if we just train for the vocation are we putting folks into a peg & leaving them there? What about the larger potential of people. Can we solve both of those problems viably in this economic model?
• mental models. find yours. the most effective people seem to hold a couple.
• you’re on your journey. They’re on theirs. Don’t compare your story to someones highlight reel.
• something I took away (hypothesis): highly functioning groups of people seem to be centered around people who are focused on individual self-development.

Be honest. Be yourself. Speak your truth. There’s tons of life to be lived–Live it. Living your curiosity might be non-traditional, but being different is not a requirement. Find something you want to do and then find a way of making it happen. For us–right now–that is finding ways to make living abroad work. It wasn’t until our conversation today that I realized I’d earned a place in that crew.

Journeys are long. Life can afford us the priviledge of walking with others. Don’t feel compelled to walk with anyone and don’t feel the need to abruptly end a journey. One foot in front of the other, eyes straight and remain open to the possiblity of your paths crossing–or not. It’s all in good fun.

Onwards & Upwards, from Shanghai.

The Affairs of Life wrote today on the lens we see each other through: friends, acquaintances, frenemies. It’s true: everyone’s just figuring life out. Yeah, for some folks it looks different–and if it is indeed better– hoorah to them. Let’s celebrate them for doing them and us for doing us.

Don’t compare your journey to their highlight reel. We’ve all got a path to walk.

++if folks belittle you or make you feel as less, remember that you’re dope simply because you exist. No job makes you adequate. Your breathing and your presence does.++

Onwards and Upwards. Along this journey we go.