Courage

Courage

Courage is the friend we can always spend time with, but the friend we fear. She, Courage, invites us to stand in greatness. We fear her, Courage, for that. We fear Courage for the greatness she eludes & invites us to step into. Courage is strong. Courage writes her own story. With Courage, we can do anything. We may not succeed, but we will show up.

Showing up is a sign that Courage is around.

Some of us befriend Courage out of circumstance:  injustice in our vicinity, challenge and struggle. We experience Courage from a place of need. As necessity is the mother of innovation, like Batman’s light, necessity calls Courage to approach closer.

Cuddle Courage – experience life.

Should we find ourselves puzzled about which direction to run, consider which decision in 50 years will have us looking back still curious, unfulfilled. Run towards Fear–Courage and Fear, they are so different and but we find beautiful things when we find them together. We are a speck of dust in an infinite timeline.

Live each day as if it was our last and our books will burst from the seams. Live our lives the way we are called to and our tales will be an example of what can be for the children who take our place here. Just as we stand on the shoulders of brave ancestors, we are the shoulders that children will look out from.

Show them hope.

The ones who inspire us most are courageous. They show up, work and stand in truth. What they gain from experiencing courage is more important than what they lose in momentarily separating from the herd. By choosing a path less traveled, they etch their stories into history and enable us to enjoy greater equality, stronger spirituality, a more robust understanding of science, the stars and the world around us. Their commitment to humans and the improvement of the human condition remind us that above all we must entertain Courage in the protection and care of people.

The world looks much different today than it once did. Should we invite Courage to live through us, we may further bend the moral arc of the universe towards justice and joy.

Let that be our North Star as we recognize Fear and Courage, inviting them to walk together with us.

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Preparing for life: the toolbox

Tools are just things. They belong to no one. Utilizing tools when we need them can make those tools accessible to us. It is uncommon to practice all the tools at a given time. Just being conscious of the ones I want to lean into at a given time helps me lots. I hope that over time, I can have enough practice that calling one to action is more muscle memory than a steep learning curve.

Break the idols Whether its your boss, president, crush or mentor. Humans are humans. And when we break the idol in our mind we open ourselves to reflecting their best qualities and leaving what we don’t love.

Stand in your truth Be honest and clear about what you believe. You don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea–it is wonderful to be someones shot of Jack.

Skip the eggshells Walking on eggshells serves no one. Be courageous and find your voice especially when you are uncertain. The best cure for uncertainty and insecurity is to ask the most difficult questions you can think of.

Recognize your presence and context “I see myself still as a 25 year old junior designer, but the juniors look at me as a senior leader. I can be more effective when I recognize that and live into it.”

You [probably] already know the answer we are smart and intuitive people. We understand what is going on inside us. Perhaps we don’t want to let go of things or are wishful for the future/present we’ve spent so much time dreaming of. But a wish and reality must be handled separately.

Hold space for yourself there’s no need to rush. What you have to say is valuable. Let it simmer.

Hold space for others pull people into conversations, include folks, facilitate dialog and an exchange of perspectives.

KISS- Keep It Simple Stupid you’ll be more effective if you keep it easy and relatable.

Brevity is Queen “I would have written less, but I did not have the time” Abe Lincoln

Take time for the self. You can literally do anything you want. I like to Meditate. Read. Just kick it by water/ a window while it rains.

Be patient with yourself Fam, Mumbai wasn’t built overnight. You are the masterpiece. Everything else is extra. Rest easy knowing that you are good enough and everything that is a work in progress is only an improvement or addition.

Be patient with others We are all on a learning journey. If we are open to it, lessons and wisdom will find us. People have held space for us: pay it forward and hold space for people you believe.

Achieve without Anxiety Simply put: anxiety is no fun. It’s unproductive and its a drain to be around. It’s worst when you’re the anxious.

Create safe space When people know you’ll support them regardless of the circumstance, they can find their courage to speak honestly. You need to trust them to be courageous.

Trust yourself to trust people Give people responsibility and support them. Let them know you trust them. This opens you to beautiful things. And if things go wrong, Trust yourself to pickup the pieces on things and make beautiful things happen from pain.

Surround you with Team A’s players Hitters. Folks who are ambitious, driven to action and resonate with you at a similar frequency. They both gain from you & grow you.

Note: Team A Players have nothing to do with social norms and indicators. Some of the most amazing men and women that I have learned from were folks I bumped into on the street or on planes. Normal everyday not astonishing people who had souls that could bring new light to the sun. Where you went to school, where you work, how much money you have: these reflect little about the human and their light.

Write your story whether you decide or not, if you havent decided to be the author of your own life you’ve given that power to someone else. Chances are you’ll go with the flow. Don’t be xerox copy of the world around you.

Check in with the self I like to ask myself ‘is this an honest expression who I am?’ of ‘Who I want to be?’

Develop awareness of your subconscious action Make a note of what’s going on around you and inside you. Decisions being made: consciously & subconsciously. Decide if you like them and want to perpetuate them or try something different.

Commit to actionAn action can be as simple as becoming conscious about something and continuing to exercise consciousness.

Recognize your progress You’reprobablymuch further along in the journey than you think. Imagine this: you are climbing a big mountain. At the bottom you see the big scary mountain. By half day, you’ve reached the middle. Now all you see is the top. But you’ve scaled half a mountain. Once you’re at the top, you see another mountain with a higher peak far into the distance. Take stock. These wins help you get through your next challenges and keep you planted in your dopeness.

Serve “Service is the rent you pay to live on this earth.” “Find yourself in service to others” Gandhi “Service is life. To serve, is to live.” F Hesselbein

Be a no ego doer Just get things done. Don’t expect reward.

Ask for help “There’s a thousand people in this city that feel responsible for my success. I’m okay with that, because now I’m here.” -Diane Hessan.

Recognize help Remember when Mitt Romney talked about doing things on your own and raising yourself from the bootstraps and then Obama said ‘somebody built the roads, funded the schools’ smiled at you. Embrace savior complex at your own peril. Even Jesus had disciples, fam.

Call people out [with kindness] because trash rots. When you call someone out it awakens them to a reality they may not have recognized

You are the 5 people closest to you.

Have intentional relationships Not everyone has to be the homie. Maybe you dont have space for that or want that. Communicate Consciously & often. Dont be afraid to ask ‘why do you want to spend time with me’ and ‘why do I want to spend time with you.’

Get Clear on what you want You already know thy self. Take courage to listen and understand.

Be clear about what you want You already know what you want. Be courageous and express what you understand that to be.

Note: this can be in any relationship. Mom, boss, intern, friend, pops, president of the united stated.

Recognize your habits We have cycles. Growth is moving closer to the parts of that which we want. Away from the parts we don’t want.

Unlearn to learn When what you know doesnt meet the new standards for your life you gotta let it go. Sometimes that’s a small adjustment. Sometimes it’s completely reeducating yourself.

Avoid long explainations Ask specific questions and journey to understanding in pieces, together.

Avoid defaulting to groups The world isn’t binary. Don’t simplify how you see and process it.

Inhale no greater joy exists than to experience life and appreciate in the moment.

Sensory Experience feel everything around you and recognize the dimensions that make something memorable. It is much more than the place. It is the company, the feeling, the smells, etc.

Forgive & Seek Forgiveness life is short and we exist in a spec of time that was not remembered and will be forgotten

If I have harmed any one in any way,
either knowingly or unknowingly
through my own confusions,
I ask their forgiveness.
If any one has harmed me in any way,
either knowingly or unknowingly
through their own confusions,
I forgive them.
And if there is a situation
I am not yet ready to forgive,
I forgive myself for that.
For all the ways that I harm myself,
negate, doubt, belittle myself,
judge or be unkind to myself,
through my own confusions,
I forgive myself.
-Buddhist Prayer

Congruence

Congruence

Discipline is doing what we set out to do. To borrow from Greg Nance, “Plan the Work, Work the Plan.” While discipline helps us get things done, congruence closes the gap.

Personal congruency exists when your true desires (intention), your thoughts (attention), feelings, and actions are aligned with your core values.” -Dieter Pauwels

I’d add ‘when your thoughts and actions are aligned with your core values and long term goals.

Congruence asks the questions:

  • will this habit lead me to achieve X goal? 
  • is what I’m doing today actually going to make a difference in my long term objective?

Congruence is outcomes based.

It is the 10,000 foot view, helicopter view.

Are our daily habits and life (our discipline) congruent with the things we daydream about?

http://spldbch.blogspot.com/2010/09/personal-congruence.html?m=1

On Being Honest

What does it mean to be honest?

Different things to different folks. To me, it means saying what you mean, meaning what you say and doing that.

Sure, it’s brilliant to be honest with others. I think what is equally important (yet not conversed about enough) is being honest with yourself.

Where might you be being dishonest with yourself today?


One area I can think of where people aren’t honest with themselves is goals and habits.

Are your daily habits aligned with your goals?

If you had the opportunity to honestly rename your goals based on your habits they may paint a better picture of where you’re headed.

One keystone habit I’m trying to create is sleep. My goal is to be healthier, more fit and more vibrant. And yet, I’m up at 4:30am writing this note.

My action does not currently line up with my goal. Tomorrow I’m at a wedding. My action probably won’t line up this whole weekend–it’s my cousins big fat Indian wedding.

I’ll aim at Monday.

For the moment, I’ll bask in the joy of self-expression and indulge in the ‘publish’ button after a long hibernation.

Polarities exist. They’re fun and helpful to hold. Polarities aren’t the best for goals. I’m seriously going to give better sleep a shot.

Onwards & Forwards Young Brown Man.

ps: Anik Khan dropped BIG FAX. Check it out. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Iv604AtvJBA/U_O7UlUtBSI/AAAAAAAAEAY/lsS6ewLVjbY/s1600/i.b.b.h.5.png

To Heros: Anthony Bourdain

anthonybourdainbjj1

When I learned that Bourdain trained Jiu Jitsu in NYC, I felt another level of potential and pride on my way to the mats.

His show, Parts Unknown, opened worlds to me and became a reference point to me in my own travels.

Bourdain’s warmth and directness informed my poise and influenced my confidence in showing up whole.

Tony eating the hog head cheese at the boucherie.

Suicide is real. It’s not a virus that catches some folks. That little darkness that dims your light is real. Reach out to your people. Let them know you’re there–that you got their back.

S/o to Anthony Bourdain and the parts I know of the world and of myself because of this hero.

At 8am today I learned that Anthony Bourdain, at 61, took his own life. 

anthonybourdainbjj

2018: Forward.

2018: Forward.

what a fun year.

Master of None Season 2 Episode: “New York, I love you” was the best thing I watched.

Learned Optimism & Behold the Dreamers split the most useful things I’ve read.

In 2017 I zoned in. It’s led me to experiences in China/Mongolia/Taiwan/Hong Kong/Japan and a smattering of language alongside. It’s allowed stronger communication and more clarity with myself and others. It’s a process-a dance. I’m swaying and learning.

It’s been a year since we spoke on this topic; goals, aims, life.

2018 is another year. It’s not make or break. There’s no new year/new us. It’s about building on 2017: embracing joy, wrapping the self with happiness, and eluding bad habits. Raising the importance of mantras learned in 2017. Less is better. Fewer, but better. Ego is the enemy. And then the newest, if your mind is only as flexible as your body then your heart can only as happy as your body. The mind is the priority and inso the body to take it there. 181 lbs.

2017 is in the context of 2021. As is 2018. This is my decade of learning. I can improve with daily diligence. It is some matter of luck and the universe plotting in my favor which has me able to share that I am directionally positive. Progressing on my aims of growth, financial soundness, instilling purpose [a healthy loving relationship, running a team/org effectively.] These are my aims for the end of the decade. The remainder of this decade is towards work, experiences, journeying.

Borrowing from The US Military’s TheMilitaryLeader, “67,108 is the speed that the Earth is traveling around the Sun. 67,108 miles per hour. Since you’ve been reading this post, we have traveled about 500 miles of a 1.6 million mile daily journey at 67,108 miles per hour.”

We’re a blimp in a big universe of possibility and history. I’m hoping to make it count while making it fun.

Con abrazos, besos, y mucho suerte,

Marv


On the last day of every year I visit the year behind me and set intentions for the year ahead of me. These aren’t resolutions. These are about me setting my vision and direction. These help me tread towards the human I want to be. 2013201420152016, and 2017.

 

My buddy Brooke wrote a 10 year forward piece. This reflection was about her experiences upon finishing High School 10 years ago. She wrote it steeped in that day with plenty of adjectives to help draw the realness of being in her shoes then and to have us sniffing the wind today.

It was a great read. That’s good writing.

Check it out.